Blog 15 The Mask

12th June
Radiotherapy Mask
On the last day/last radiotherapy session the radiographer (what a great character he was), asked me if I wanted the mask that pinned me down to the table. Looks like something from the film Friday The 13th.
“Do people usually take the mask home?”
“Oh yes, most people take them as momentous.....Most people”
“Really...? Most people – Most people?”
Then I thought that I could take it to draw – as artists draw skulls. I'll try to get a photograph of it – its lovely.....scares the hell out of most people.....Most people.

Blog 14 - Day Radiotherapy Shinanigans

Throughout all the radiotherapy – with beams shooting through my head, I remember all I wanted to do was get back to the hotel to eat my tea then watch BBC's springwatch.
Of course, the whole nation was watching how two little fish in a shallow stream were getting on.

Blog 13 - Radiotherapy

On the 8th Of June Lucinda and myself went to Southampton to start the radiotherapy on my brain. We stayed at the Jury's Inn Hotel all week. Every day we went to Southampton General Hospital.
On the morning of the 9th, I had a shave. First using a beard trimmer which I usually used the same setting...
...Only...
I didn't – I used the wrong setting; too low. Ha ha ha.! Oh well, never mind.

Being pushed around the hospital and hotel all day with a big bald patch in my beard was great fun – so much so that I didn't level it out. What fun to see people staring agaze. No doubt about it – I will always check the settings from now on, on the strimmer.

Blog 12 - Planner Scan For Radiotherapy

On the first of June, I went for a CT Head planner scan. I say myself but Lucinda and Lucinda's parents who were down visiting came with us. While we were in the area, we all went to the New Forest and for a meal at a pub nearby.
It was arranged I would have radiotherapy on the 8th June until the 12th of June.

Blog 11 - Day Of The Brain Operation

We got to the hospital in good time but as usual it was a lot of waiting around. I guess that's why they are called Waiting Rooms.
At first it may seem strange that there is not a lot I can remember about such an important event in my life but with so much happening...
The day was full of waiting around.

When I eventually went in for the general anaesthetic there was the anaesthetist and plenty of specialists and also a student who did seem to know her stuff.
Now my memory is well known for being...er...forgetful. But I do remember waking up in resuscitation with some people arguing about something. It's strange how I can always remember waking up in resus but soon as they start to move me to a ward...I forget until I get to the ward.
I was feeling awful – especially my chest. My head felt fine. You would think otherwise wouldn't you? Lucinda turned up from nowhere holding a strawberry yogurt and a spoon. Wow...that yogurt was the most wonderful thing I had ever tasted.
You know – ever since then I have loved yogurts. Can't get enough of them. I don't know if it's the coolness or something else. The woman in the bed across from me (yes, I found that strange – a mixed ward), was eating loads of yogurt; along with loads of ice cream. Her was bringing MacDonald’s in by the cartload along with...MacDonald's ice cream.

All through the night there was a woman who was convinced she was being held captive.
“Help...Help...they are holding me prisoner......!
The problem was they didn't have space for her anywhere else – none of the other wards had spare beds. In time she was moved into a ward a bit further up the corridor but everyone could still hear her.

I thought it quite peculiar that the very next day Lucie was able to take me home...the very following day. And so she did...minus one rather large tumour from my brain.

Blog 10 - The Hotel

Today we are setting off for Southampton. We need to get to the hotel that we will be staying at tonight. Tomorrow is Operation Brain Operation . . . err . . . we may need to re-title that one . . . ha  ha ha . . . .
I am finding it hard to believe that someone is going to cut my head open, have a peek inside my head, cut some stuff out, staple it all back together then send me back home . . . The very next day. The very next day – Are they crazy?
I had better not think of that...a brain surgeon operating on my head who is crazy???

So off we set on a lovely Sunday outing – not a care in the world . . . . Me? Worried?

All the way there, we were talking history.
Eleanor of Aquitaine & Henry II. I always seem to forget Eleanor's name. No idea why things I am so interested in, I foget so easily.
Lucie was testing me – well it stopped me thinking about other matters.
The Hundred Year War.
The War of the Roses.
Southampton is quite a way for us to travel but The Hundred Year War & The War or the Roses is a lot of years to get in before we get there.
If this sounds stuffy & boring, you should have heard some of the conversation – Ha ha ha. And of course, some of the things we talked about had us in stitches...oops...ok...we laughed a lot.

Finally, we got to the hotel (quite easily & quickly). Then we had to think of food – we went back out and drove around but all we could find was a MacDonald’s. We took our place in the queue for the drive-through. I decided to have a plain cheese burger (no salad). The person serving said “OK, so that's a cheese burger without cheese is it?” 
No – that would be a burger surely.
“Oh yes . . .”
That person went and explained to the other person who was making up the order (as it was so complex).
We waited . . . . and waited . . . . and then it arrived. Looking good, cheese burger box, note on saying 'plain cheese burger'. I opened the box just to check – ah yes, a burger, a cheese burger without cheese – ha ha ha. We – ok  well Lucie took it back; they just didn't get it at all.

That night we watched a program about a tribe whose whole culture is based around a bartering system with no money exchanging at all. Of course, because of the tourist trade, that is all changing now – so sad.

I am not sure why but I was quite calm and relaxed to say I would be going in to hospital the very next day for a brain operation. We were both feeling quite 'up' and joking around. I just knew everything would go OK . . . . sort of . . . .

Blog 9 - The Kindness Of Strangers

Saturday and for some peculiar reason, we both seem rather calm. I did think it would be all panic stations. But I have to say that I am glad – we really need a rest. Lucinda is running herself into the ground. 

Anyway, we really have spent all day laughing and joking and feeling quite up . . . Just don't think too much about Monday because laughter really is the best medicine and love is the drug I'm thinking of. . . . Damn you Roxy Music – I thought I'd written a song for a second there!

Last night (Friday), I got a Facebook message from an artist & illustrator whom I have admired for a long time now. A message of support and just at the right time. He told me he had lost the vision in one of his eyes (left one too), in his last year of art school. And let me tell you; that has not stopped him being an incredible artist, illustrator & teacher. The relief from reading those words. OK, I shake quite a lot at the moment but I do think (even if I have to change my style), I will still be drawing and painting. 

The kindness of strangers has been wonderful. 

Earlier on I mentioned the calmness that kind of fell upon us but things were not as relaxing as it all sounds. Messages were pouring in on Facebook. Some of the kindest things I have read on there. People had taken the time to write lovely messages and we were going to answer as many as we could. Of course, after hours of trying to reply to as many lovely people as we could – we found it impossible. Lucinda was replying all day and well into the evening. To anyone who didn't get a reply, we are genuinely sorry.

The kindness of strangers has been wonderful. 

Another artist and massive influence on me is going through terrible times with cancer too. Unfortunately for him, he lives in America where there is no National Health Service. I am lucky, living in this country means I get treatment on the NHS. No such thing in the USA. People need health insurance. But even then, as with this artist, they are wriggling out of paying. When I read this, I was so upset. I just couldn't stop the tears. Money, money that someone had paid into insurance just in case of some dreadful illness came knocking at his door, was more important to that company than a man's life. I know some wonderful artists have been trying to raise funds for the treatment, which is astronomical. At least it shows some people care in this upside down world.
The kindness of strangers.

Lucinda had recorded a Bill Bailey concert on that magic box thing that says Sky. I just couldn't stop laughing. Bill Bailey, a big box of liquorice and my wife by my side . . . . Heaven . . . . ha ha ha . . . . 

Then we went to bed – thinking about the kindness of strangers.